In a recent TIME article by Angela Haupt, Karen Stewart, a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, talks about her clients who starts complaining about their job, she cuts them off mid-rant. As they vent about an infuriating boss or a nagging urge to quit, she asks a pointed question: what would happen if they woke up tomorrow and got a letter saying their services were no longer needed? “You immediately see their face change”. This “what-if” technique is called mental subtraction, and Haupt reports it takes about a minute to try.
Here are the key points from the article:
- What the research says. Haupt traces the technique to a 2008 study inspired by It’s a Wonderful Life, the film where George Bailey sees how much worse off everyone would be had he never been born. Across several experiments, people who imagined a positive event never happening reported more positive emotion than people who simply reflected on it. Study author Minkyung Koo, a marketing professor at the University of New Mexico, told Haupt the technique works by interrupting hedonic adaptation, the tendency to get used to good things until they stop feeling special. “Imagining how a positive event might never have happened helps people see that event as less inevitable and more surprising,” Koo says.
- How it’s different from gratitude journaling. According to Haupt, gratitude lists can lose their punch over time, the same adaptation that dulls good experiences can dull a gratitude habit too. Mental subtraction sidesteps that, says Roxy Zarrabi, a clinical psychologist in Chicago, by making you imagine the cost of losing something “without actually having to go through it in real life.”
- When it works best. According to Haupt, the technique is most useful in the exact moment you’re annoyed, since frustration is the easiest cue to catch. Stewart often slips a quiet “what if” into a client’s complaint rather than announcing an exercise. Picture a partner who’s chronically 20 minutes late: subtract him entirely, and the lateness stops looking like grounds for a breakup. “A majority of the time, we don’t want to eliminate the thing that we’re upset about,” Stewart says. “We just want something specific to change.”
- How to do it in under a minute. Haupt lays out four simple steps. First, catch yourself mid-complaint, any everyday gripe works. Second, actually imagine the absence rather than just admiring what’s there, since Koo warns that simply reminiscing about the good thing is “the wrong way to do the exercise.” Third, return to the present; Suzie White of the University of Cincinnati suggests anchoring the habit to something routine, like brushing your teeth, “because attaching it to an existing habit makes it easier to remember.” Finally, act on what you noticed, whether that’s a small gesture of thanks or, per Stewart, an honest conversation about the thing that’s actually fixable, like a coat that’s always left on the counter.
- The bigger point. Haupt closes on Stewart’s observation that real control and the illusion of control feel very different. We tell ourselves we could quit the job or end the relationship anytime, but that’s not the same as having it taken away. “If your partner breaks up with you tomorrow, your boss fires you, your pet runs away, your car breaks down, your landlord kicks you out, you’ll drastically change your perspective,” Stewart says.
Haupt sums up that mental subtraction simply lets you arrive at that shift in perspective on your own terms, before life forces it on you.
Acknowledgement: This summary was generated using AI writing tools as part of my experimental learning process. For more information, check out the original article listed below.